When Your Best Friends Gets Married

IMG_8646

When entering your mid-twenties, changes will begin happening throughout your social circle at a rapid-fire pace. Careers will be established, moving trucks will be packed to set forth across the country, and friends will begin to take new last names.

There will be many engagement dinners and wedding receptions where you will be in attendance as just the date of their friend, or because of social courtesy for a co-worker. But then there be the weddings that involve your childhood friends, the group of women who continue to share a deep friendship after surviving puberty.

When the group of women who have known each other since elementary school meet for a weekend brunch, the world may see you as mid-twentysomethings who lead lives full of successful careers, motherhood, and marriage. But to each other a time warp still is in place when you reunite no matter how many weeks or months pass by.

In their faces, you see the eyes of a 16-year-old brimming with tears over her first heartache. You hear the uninhibited giggle of a 15-year-old sharing the first time she went to 3rd base during a sleepover.

1933761_9211215062_2583_nThe voice will always echo the days of when you would drive around in your mother’s car blasting My Chemical Romance, feeling the freedom of a driver’s license that can only be felt at 17-years-old. Your arms have wrapped around each other countless times, providing comfort for every situation from drinking too much at a college party at 20-years-old or sitting numbly trying to process the life threatening illness of a parent too young to be so sick in present day.

And sometimes your group will be in the midst of multiple weddings a month apart, while another is preparing for the birth of her first child several months prior to the nuptials. This means two bridal showers, two bachelorette parties, two rehearsal dinners, two ceremonies, a baby shower, and a christening. Oh – and having to change the last name of two of your two oldest friends in your cell phone for the first time ever.

12027512_10155984686620063_8458987793040532901_nIn the midst of experiencing these life-changing events, you are tasked with coordinating schedules and to-do lists, which seemed harder to do than managing arrivals at Grand Central Station during rush hour. In the mix was dealing with future sister-in-laws and mother in laws that were new to your friends’ lives, but now would be bonded to their future in a more intimate way than we would be.While browsing the home good sections of Macy’s to find the perfect wedding gift in the registry, there may be moments of self-reflection involved. Moments of ‘when me’, that questioned if there will ever be a time in your life where the love of your life will be holding your hand while you wield the registry gun for our own wedding registry? Will there ever be a man that takes your breath away to the point where you are willing to commit your life to being his wife? 

1909751_9210780062_1049_nBut those moments of self-pity and wonder about the future goes away the minute you walk into the room of festivities. Your heart will swell when she steps out from the dressing room of the bridal store, making the choice of her wedding dress.

And when helping her lace up the back of her wedding dress, a sense of deja vu will happen because not so long ago you were doing the same thing while getting ready for the junior prom. When finally sitting down after spending hours setting up for her bridal shower, watching your best friend open each bridal shower gift with glee makes every paper cut from hanging decorations worth it.

The twinkle in her eyes as she unwraps food processors and throw pillows is lit up by all of her future plans to create a home with her future husband. Then on the wedding day, you’re standing up at the altar, waiting, as the doors swing open for her to make the grand entrance. Out of the corner of your eye is her soon-to-be-husband, who was once just a guy your best friend called you about gushing after a first date. He is now just part of your friend group as she is and has already been present for his fair share of best friend moments.

1933761_9211205062_2072_n182484_10150415284330063_792635_n10487350_10154273102260063_4592410527715523314_n

 

As she walks down the aisle, the past 15 years scroll through your mind at warp speed.

There is the girl that walked the blocks of your neighborhood after school with knee socks sliding down, and a Jansport backpack tied around her back. Who provided comforted when your crush ended up being a jerk, while rinsing out your retainers in the bathroom

She is the one you cried hysterically with after saying goodbye the night before you both left for college, but the same one who is still able to provide a feeling of home when caught between two worlds. She is the one who will drink with you at the bar without judging when your life is so far from what you imagined post college graduation. And now she is a woman who is about to become a someone’s one, a matriarch of her own family. 

 

Swept off her feetNugget lovingMr and Mrs Devan

 

Then after the post-ceremony group photos are finished and party-bus cocktails are ingested, you will stand proud to witness the first dance of the newly minted Mr. & Mrs. Her eyes are brighter than you ever have seen them before. Although her steps and twirls seem effortless while she’s dancing with her husband, you know it has been a hell of a journey for her. And that her first dance is inspirational. This is her victory dance, her reward for never losing her hope for true love.

Being able to be part of the process of weddings of these girls has given you lessons that will stick with you if there is ever day for it to be your turn to be the bride. But out of all the takeaways from standing beside them on their wedding, one is those important and meaning. When watching your best friends get married, it will take your breath away from how much love and pride swells inside your heart for them.

12122615_10156183417590063_526255218688238534_n

Advertisements

33 Articles Published in 365 Days

IMG_9680_2

For me, 2015 can be described as wordy – literally! Over the past 365 days, I have had 33 essays published across multiple outlets- 20 syndicated and 13 original. Having the opportunity to allow my work to be introduced to new readers has been the best thing to happen this year.

Continue reading

10 Reasons Why Kermit the Frog Would Be the Perfect Boyfriend

images (2)

Many of us are questioning the longevity of love in the 21st century thanks, to the recent slew of Hollywood romances that sizzled up this summer. The split that’s most shocking is between one of the longest relationships in Hollywood, spanning over 40 years. Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have decided to part amicably, in order to continue a professional relationship as they returned to television this fall for the revamp of The Muppet Show on ABC.  

No word yet if either Muppet has their eyes on new lovers, but not to worry. There shouldn’t be a lack of potential suitors, especially for our favorite amphibian. While Miss Piggy has gained a reputation over the years for being high maintenance, Kermit the Frog has maintained his southern, down-to-swamp charm despite his international stardom.

As a single woman who isn’t excited about most of the tadpoles out there, I sympathize for how intimidating it can be to leap back into the dating pond, even for America’s favorite frog.

But reentering the game should be easy for Kermit because he embodies the makings of the perfect boyfriend (including soft, snuggly fabric).

Here are the top 10 reasons why Kermit the Frog is now Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor, especially with George Clooney out of the running:

  1. Kermit owns his emotions and isn’t afraid to show them.

giphy (9)

Being able to have an open dialogue about feelings with your significant other is vital to any healthy relationship. Kermit has never shied away from expressing his emotions. Not many men openly profess their love for their friends and family as frequently. But wearing his heart on his sleeve has been one of Kermit’s trademarks, guaranteeing the absence of passive aggressive comments and mind reading assumptions in your relationship.

Continue reading

Joining Team IUD

Originally published on June 23, 2015 on Huffington Post 

t8zvc

Life is full of situations that are beyond my control, but my reproductive system should not be one of them.

Last Sunday my cervix was not happy with me. Perhaps that is a bit of an understatement. It was throwing a temper tantrum because of what I did to it about 48 hours prior. That’s when I officially became a member of Team IUD — Team Paraguard (Copper IUD) to be exact.

Chances are you stumbled across this blog as you Googled “what is it like getting an IUD” or “does getting an IUD hurt.” At least thats what I did in the weeks leading up before joining Team IUD.

As far as the IUD insertion experience, I’m not going to lie, by no means was this a walk in the park. There were multiple times during the half hour appointment that my wonderful gynecologist offered to stop the procedure because of my pitiful whimpers.

Knowing that this uncomfortableness was exacerbated because of my low tolerance of pain, and that I would never turn to get the procedure done if we stopped now, onward we continued.  Continue reading

That Awkward Moment When You Open A National E-Newsletter and See Your Face Staring Back at You

1976954_10203066445364876_2176036857001711839_nLast Saturday morning I was sitting in the hair salon on a rainy Saturday morning with red dye plastered on my head. My mom was in the chair next to me flipping through a magazine making comments about one of the Jenner sisters. My phone jingled-a friend of mine posted on my Facebook a screenshot of her Yahoo inbox, featuring my xoJane article (which was reprinted in Huffington Post Women). For those who know me, I’m rarely speechless. Well this was a rare occasion- you’re love life isn’t always on one of the world’s most popular websites is it?

Screen Shot 2014-10-06 at 7.23.18 PM

Needless to say round two of reactions began and shocked me. Over 400 emails, 21K likes, 1368 comments, and a few hundred more on the original essay. Not to mention the awesome new readers that wanted to know more about the girl who was insane/ballsy enough to write about the clusterfuck of her love life. And her highly intelligent cat.

Continue reading

That Time I Became Popular on the Internet Because I Wasn’t Popular on Online Dating

Screen Shot 2014-09-22 at 11.44.43 AMAsking questions is a huge part of being a writer. When I first joined my high school’s student newspaper during my junior year, the first lessoned I learned was how to interview. My journalism teacher, who I adored, paired me up with an editor who was working on an article focusing on an event being held by our school’s alumni organization.

Like a puppy unsure about going out to the dog park for the first time, I trotted behind the editor as she led us to the school’s alumni office to interview the priest who was in charge of the event. During the ten minute interview, I watched in awe as the editor scribbled notes on paper while carrying on a conversation with the priest who was talking a mile a minute. There is no way in hell I can multitask like she’s doing, I thought freaking out that soon enough I’d be writing pieces on my own. But nine years later, that lesson has stuck with me as I’ve conducted countless interviews for publications throughout high school and college, magazine internships and my full time job as a digital media professional for the non profit sector. The point is that I can now interview anyone at anytime- being interviewed is a whole other story. Continue reading

A New Outlook on Online Dating and Internet Trolls Thanks to Readers Like You

snippet1When I submitted my xoJane Online Dating Reject article, I was pretty impartial about what would happen to it. Of course I wanted it to run on the website, but it wouldn’t have been the end of the world if it wasn’t picked up.

Last Friday when the article ran, I was pleasantly surprised to see 124 comments within two hours. Initially, the comments were very constructive. Many readers shared their take on my dating profile, and made awesome suggestions on branding myself in a more positive light.

Much of the advice pointed out really key suggestions I hadn’t taken into consideration prior. Sure, the description sounds witty if you know me and get that I am not a child-craving cat lady who spends all of time chugging smoothies in bed.  But if you read that and didn’t know me in real life- then it sounds like a teaser of an extreme introvert. Continue reading

The Weekend I Spent Analyzing My Life Because of the Internet

 images (1)This weekend has been quite different than what I had planed. The majority of my waking hours was spent on Saturday feeling conflicted. Part of me was feeling ecstatic that a piece I had written was on the front of a wildly, successful online magazine. Writing for xoJane had been a writing goal for so long, and contributing over the past 9 months has been incredible.

My goal has as always been to connect with others through my writing- so someone out there going through similar situations won’t feel so alone. As a writer, the fact that the comments have continued to pour in (last time I check it was at 502) is also an incredible win. People are reading, clicking, and sharing my story. Someone other than my grandmother is taking the time to read and talk about what I have to say. 

The other part of me is mentally wrestling with myself. I would say 85-90% of the comments have been uplifting and full of constructive criticism. I have gotten AMAZING online dating advice and can’t wait to try it out. It was the advice I was looking for from readers. There have also been lovely emails sent to me from readers saying their experiencing the same thing, or have in the past. Again- it was a goal of the article to strike a chord with women facing similar struggles. Continue reading

I asked for Online Dating help- and XOJANE Comments Exploded

Screen Shot 2014-09-06 at 10.12.51 AMWriting my online reject article for xoJane was a shot in the dark- it was a personal experience that I thought a few people would be interested in, or maybe relate to. When it was published yesterday afternoon- all comment hell broke loose. I’m not going to lie- I spent Friday night pouring through the array of feedback in the comments section. Many uplifiting, and full of valid advice. Others made me want to drink tequila and cry into the fur of my mentioned (and must discussed) ‘highly intelligent cat’. 

I woke up to this—all this in less than 20 hours. Continue reading

The Online Dating Reject

As seen on XOJANE, Published 09/05/2014

I expected life after college to be a lot harder. Entering the workforce in one of the more turbulent economic times in our nation’s history would mean I would have to work harder to break into the communications industry. Moving out of my parents house would mean learning how to live on a strict budget, resulting in many Ramen dinners the week before pay day- but that’s expected. The Miranda Lambert song ‘This Ones for the Girls’ told me that at age 25 I would be living in a tiny apartment eating spagehettos trying to survive. However, I did not expect that my dating life would be summarized in one word: clusterfuck. Excuse my language but there really is not any other word in the English dictionary that describes my dating life right now.

Online-Dating-E-mailFor the life of me, I cannot get a date. Just typing that sentence stung. As a single, straight female living in a metropolitan neighborhood, one would think that it would be fairly simple to meet men. I’m not a huge drinker, so the bar scene has never really been my thing. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but I’m not into one-night stands either. Although I am an introvert and would rather spend time with my cat while watching Netflix, I ventured out of my comfort zone and joined a co-ed softball league and registered for a comedy class. That was a bust. Most of the guys were taken, while the others showed zero interest in my lame attempt to flirt. When that didn’t pan out, I turned to the one avenue that has never let me down: the Internet. Continue reading