The most frustrating thing for a writer to experience is the inability to transcribe the message from the heart onto paper. Sometimes we struggle about what to write about, staring at the blinking cursor unable to come up with a string of sentences worth reading.
Other times, the content is there- jumping around our subconscious screaming to be let loose on the keyboard. But the feelings bubbling up inside just are too strong, too raw, too vivid to translate. They’re often times too intense to even sort through without having a physical reaction.
And sometimes life and situations require a hyper-focused period of time in life where it takes all of your energy to continue to stay afloat. When adulting requires your energy to be focused on the writing and projects that, for the moment, pay the bills. And by the end of the day after spending all day writing other messages, working to push other projects and spending the last waking hours of the day taking care of personal needs like summoning up the energy to wash your hair- there is nothing left to give to the process of teasing out the ideas floating around the writer brain.
As much as I feel like a failure for not writing more essays or for taking a brief pause from writing my book, I have to remind myself- nothing lasts forever. In the not-so-far-away future, the pace of other areas in my life will return to a trot, rather than a fierce gallop that leaves nothing left for me to use. The holidays will not always be poking or irritating my barely scarred over emotional wound of dealing with family chaos. And the tiredness of life in general, from just having myself pulled, stretched and grown in so many ways this past year, will subside. While everyone knows about growing pains, what often times isn’t communicated well is the overall fatigue that accompanies it. The tired feeling after being in survival mode to adapt, often times unwillingly- while your muscles begin to unwind and your mind is trying to process ‘what did we just live though?’
But things I have done since over the past 3 months that will eventually be written about when the pace begins to even out in other areas of my life include:
- My first solo vacation ever- to Disney World!
- Bought and successfully used a crock pot!
- Made my own Thanksgiving Eve dinner that involved cooking a turducken!
- Celebrated my 2 year anniversary at my full-time job- officially making it the longest I’ve ever been somewhere!
- Voted for the first female presidential candidate on Election Day, then vomited when I woke up the next day realizing she lost to B-rated reality television show shmuck.
At least writing this is a step, a tiny step, to getting back into the swing of personal writing.
After being alive for a quarter of a century, I’ve picked up a few useful pieces of information. The most valuable tidbits being the ones that I have learned the hard way. An activity on my list of 365 things to do in 365 days was to put together a list of 25 life lessons I’ve learned over the past 25 years. Honestly, this was a lot harder than I thought. Most of it is silly, some of isn’t rocket science, but it’s all gems of wisdom I now can share because of personal experience.
- Cat’s like Spaghettios.
- The knowledge gained at your first job will be much more valuable than anything learned during four years at college.
- Interning makes a huge difference when applying to jobs. Skip the wine-tasting elective offered and apply for an internship or two.
- When you only have $10 for food for an entire week before payday, McDonald’s Dollar Menu is a gift from God.
- Don’t listen to a nun who wears sneakers and marks your quiz wrong because you put Bill Clinton as an answer to the question ‘name a charismatic leader’ ,even if she lowers your grade.
- When the car radio-presets are all screwed up, it does not mean a friend played an elaborate prank. Your car battery is about to die, so call a mechanic.
- Eating seafood that has been marked down to clearance at the local Thriftway is never a good idea.
- Passion beats talent 95% of the time. A boss would rather have an employee with a great attitude that is teachable, rather than a skilled drone.
- There’s no long term hurt that can come from going after a dream. The sting of rejection can be soften by the knowledge that at least you tried. And the payoff can be epic.
- Facebook stalking can lift up your spirits and make you feel inadequate in a matter of minutes.
- Being cheap about something will only cost more money in the long run. Like that shitty $40 Ikea bed frame that is now propped against my wall used as a clothesline.
- It’s really terrifying to see your parents turning into a younger version of your grandparents.
- Friendship takes a lot of work after college.
- Siri is not a friend to those of us who talk fast and have a strong ‘Northeast Philadelphia’ accent.
- Finding the good bathroom at work is one of the most important things to do during the first week at a new job.
- Fear of missing out and peer pressure isn’t always that bad. It all depends on the peers doing the pressuring. I tried clean eating, and exercising because of the fear of missing out on the experience my coworkers were partaking in last year.
- Cinnamon toothpaste is the most useless product created by the dental hygiene world.
- Antidepressants only work half way, the user has to be willing to do the other half of the work to feel better.
- Being in the good graces of your office’s administrative assistant, security team, janitor and cafeteria cook is more telling of your reputation than being in the good graces of the CEO.
- Unit air conditioners get taken out of windows in the winter for a reason. Learning this hard way can result in getting a cold or freezing to death in your sleep.
- Your parents and/or your family’s way of life does not need to be how you live your life. Even if they tell you otherwise.
- Motherly love can be appreciated at any age. And that doesn’t mean it has to come from your biological mother either.
- Never be a jerk to someone who is apologizing. Even if you don’t accept it, give them the opportunity attempt.
- A person can actually overdose on vitamins. Especially Niacin, which I decided to take multiple times day to increase my happiness. My face was the color of an apple and I’m lucky my head didn’t explode.
- Google is the reason why those reference books on my bookshelf at work are covered in dust. And has also encouraged my demand and expectations of instant gratification.