When Your Best Friends Gets Married

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When entering your mid-twenties, changes will begin happening throughout your social circle at a rapid-fire pace. Careers will be established, moving trucks will be packed to set forth across the country, and friends will begin to take new last names.

There will be many engagement dinners and wedding receptions where you will be in attendance as just the date of their friend, or because of social courtesy for a co-worker. But then there be the weddings that involve your childhood friends, the group of women who continue to share a deep friendship after surviving puberty.

When the group of women who have known each other since elementary school meet for a weekend brunch, the world may see you as mid-twentysomethings who lead lives full of successful careers, motherhood, and marriage. But to each other a time warp still is in place when you reunite no matter how many weeks or months pass by.

In their faces, you see the eyes of a 16-year-old brimming with tears over her first heartache. You hear the uninhibited giggle of a 15-year-old sharing the first time she went to 3rd base during a sleepover.

1933761_9211215062_2583_nThe voice will always echo the days of when you would drive around in your mother’s car blasting My Chemical Romance, feeling the freedom of a driver’s license that can only be felt at 17-years-old. Your arms have wrapped around each other countless times, providing comfort for every situation from drinking too much at a college party at 20-years-old or sitting numbly trying to process the life threatening illness of a parent too young to be so sick in present day.

And sometimes your group will be in the midst of multiple weddings a month apart, while another is preparing for the birth of her first child several months prior to the nuptials. This means two bridal showers, two bachelorette parties, two rehearsal dinners, two ceremonies, a baby shower, and a christening. Oh – and having to change the last name of two of your two oldest friends in your cell phone for the first time ever.

12027512_10155984686620063_8458987793040532901_nIn the midst of experiencing these life-changing events, you are tasked with coordinating schedules and to-do lists, which seemed harder to do than managing arrivals at Grand Central Station during rush hour. In the mix was dealing with future sister-in-laws and mother in laws that were new to your friends’ lives, but now would be bonded to their future in a more intimate way than we would be.While browsing the home good sections of Macy’s to find the perfect wedding gift in the registry, there may be moments of self-reflection involved. Moments of ‘when me’, that questioned if there will ever be a time in your life where the love of your life will be holding your hand while you wield the registry gun for our own wedding registry? Will there ever be a man that takes your breath away to the point where you are willing to commit your life to being his wife? 

1909751_9210780062_1049_nBut those moments of self-pity and wonder about the future goes away the minute you walk into the room of festivities. Your heart will swell when she steps out from the dressing room of the bridal store, making the choice of her wedding dress.

And when helping her lace up the back of her wedding dress, a sense of deja vu will happen because not so long ago you were doing the same thing while getting ready for the junior prom. When finally sitting down after spending hours setting up for her bridal shower, watching your best friend open each bridal shower gift with glee makes every paper cut from hanging decorations worth it.

The twinkle in her eyes as she unwraps food processors and throw pillows is lit up by all of her future plans to create a home with her future husband. Then on the wedding day, you’re standing up at the altar, waiting, as the doors swing open for her to make the grand entrance. Out of the corner of your eye is her soon-to-be-husband, who was once just a guy your best friend called you about gushing after a first date. He is now just part of your friend group as she is and has already been present for his fair share of best friend moments.

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As she walks down the aisle, the past 15 years scroll through your mind at warp speed.

There is the girl that walked the blocks of your neighborhood after school with knee socks sliding down, and a Jansport backpack tied around her back. Who provided comforted when your crush ended up being a jerk, while rinsing out your retainers in the bathroom

She is the one you cried hysterically with after saying goodbye the night before you both left for college, but the same one who is still able to provide a feeling of home when caught between two worlds. She is the one who will drink with you at the bar without judging when your life is so far from what you imagined post college graduation. And now she is a woman who is about to become a someone’s one, a matriarch of her own family. 

 

Swept off her feetNugget lovingMr and Mrs Devan

 

Then after the post-ceremony group photos are finished and party-bus cocktails are ingested, you will stand proud to witness the first dance of the newly minted Mr. & Mrs. Her eyes are brighter than you ever have seen them before. Although her steps and twirls seem effortless while she’s dancing with her husband, you know it has been a hell of a journey for her. And that her first dance is inspirational. This is her victory dance, her reward for never losing her hope for true love.

Being able to be part of the process of weddings of these girls has given you lessons that will stick with you if there is ever day for it to be your turn to be the bride. But out of all the takeaways from standing beside them on their wedding, one is those important and meaning. When watching your best friends get married, it will take your breath away from how much love and pride swells inside your heart for them.

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Syndication, Thanksgiving and Dino

Somehow it’s the the week of Thanksgiving. Maybe between the flurry of wedding activities for two close friends, the dizzying amount of projects at work the unseasonably warm weather knocked my concept of timing off kilter.

Screen Shot 2015-11-09 at 4.28.24 PMEarlier this month, I was dumbfounded to find out that my article was syndicated by Yahoo, thanks to YourTango. Over the past year, my writing has been able to be experienced by a whole new audience because of the syndication from YourTango, Yahoo, Thought Catalog and Psych Central. No matter how many times an article of mind gets published, the surge of joy and excitement is still as strong as it was the first time it happened on in my high school paper back in 2006.

IMG_7280 (1)Don’t worry, in the middle of the fall chaos of a full social calendar, Annie still celebrated Halloween. Yes, it was emotionally painful for her and physically painful for my hands, but now I can say that my orange tabby cat was Dino the Dinosaur from The Flintstones. It boggles my mind that this Christmas will mark two years since I’ve had my furry partner in crime.

In addition to everything else, I’ve finally taken the plunge and began writing my book. And to be quite honest- it’s freaking hard. But the words are slowly coming to life and forming some sort of embodiment of what will eventually become my first book. When discouragement creeps into my head, all I have to do is remind myself that Snooki is a New York Times Best Selling Author. That is motivation enough to bang my fingertips against the keyboard until carpal tunnel syndrome sets in.

 

 

Polar Bear Plunges, Melting Crayons and Sketchy Groupon Deals

One month into 365 in 365- and it’s been an experience to say the list. January has always been a month that would sort of float by, but when you have a lot of shit to do (365 things to be exact) it’s a motivator to live. From art projects, mini road trips and trying things that were never really on my radar before- it kicked of 2015 in a positive way.

Here are a few highlight’s I’ve been able to check off the list. It’s been hard to update because between working full time and living-a spare moment with enough brain energy to blog has been difficult to find! 

Walk like a Polar Bear

IMG_5083The biggest thing of the month was jumping into the icy Delaware River for the Polar Bear Plunge.  Somehow, I convinced my best friend of over 20 years, Nikki, to be my partner in this item. To my surprise she was even more excited than I was, and even went along with idea to wear matching polar bear hats. My family came to cheer us on the early Saturday morning we stood on the shore of Neshaminy State Park, waiting to plunge. Continue reading